I’ve always been drawn to fantasy worlds, but I didn’t imagine that spiritual entities had actually begun conversing with me to simulate the conversations I wanted to have in reality. It gave me fiction beyond my ability and the possibility of experimenting with various science fiction concepts that some say have spiritual validity. What I didn’t realize was the embellishing had taken on a metaphysical reality that had a real physical effect on my body. I didn’t want to believe that psychic abilities were real, but at the same time I used them to have and do things I would never actually do; in effect, I was cheating, but I didn’t know it until I went for a procedure in which some of the entities were removed.

I do think that past life experiences are real, but I also think I’ve created more than the actual number by seeing what I wanted and not realizing that spiritual discernment was necessary. Also, if we want to connect with our soulmates, then I think we have to do it in reality. Which means intense emotions and sometimes the encounter ends before you or they want it to; you can also be ill-equipped to say what’s on your mind. And whoever they or you were in the past, assuming there was one, it doesn’t mean that’s who you are now to each other. Familiarity is tempting and the connection can be meaningful, but those can also be signs it isn’t authentic. On the other hand, if you don’t like something, and it makes you question things about yourself, then chances are it could be real.

It can be a fine line and I think the effects are insidious, especially when whatever goes on in your head is private and things that happen outside seem unconnected. I always wanted a layer between me and what I wrote, but I don’t think that kind of fiction is safe for me anymore, so for now I’m trying to take the simplest version of things, even if it means leaving out what I was most comfortable writing.

If something’s too good to be true, it probably is.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s