I never expected, on the verge of an age milestone, that I would be also entering the initial stages of spiritual mastery. Where you see through time to discover the causes of fear, and ask before you act. More and more, it was no longer right for me to hold on to things and people that once served me, for fear that nothing new was on the horizon. I didn’t realize how much of my life was governed by this maxim, until the humor of the goddess of compassion, Kwan Yin, whose name in full Chinese script means “observing the cries of the world.” It was hilarious to learn that if I simply said, “there are new things” then a lot of my fears dropped away: I would no longer need to save appliances, preserve relationships and cling to beliefs that were no longer serving me.
You only change when it causes more suffering to stay the same.
This is often why we are forced out of a comfort zone.
In two short years, I had moved from everyday seeker to spiritual practitioner, but for the love that makes you grow. There is such a difference between love that keeps us small, clinging to our fears and insecurities, and the person that waits a higher level distance away, never too far, but forcing us to grow and be the best we can. Ostensibly under desperation, I learned the skills I never would have dared open, for that was the motivation I needed to open the door. And it was to my surprise to learn that space clearing is practical, and mediumship, beautiful.
Much more, that the Greek and Roman goddesses I had studied in classical literature were perhaps going to be coming through in the near future.
Brought to the depths of my own patterns, I saw that often what we dislike in the outer world is a reflection of the things we don’t like about ourselves. This applies across time, for the beliefs you hold today are the consequences of actions taken in past lifetimes. For instance, I had a fear of contamination that I never really understood. It was a specific kind. It was only when I saw myself burying people in dirt that I realized the exact sensations I didn’t like, were the ones I had probably inflicted.
When you see the worst of you, you also begin to see the best in you. As I saw the old-fashioned soldier brandishing a sword, I also saw the priestess holding a wand. The masculine energy of my past, and the Divine feminine energy, possibly of my future.
I had been bending the rules to ensure an outcome, trying to save the world without realizing that what had been meted out was fair. That I couldn’t keep helping the way I had been, because of the rules of karma. When you give more than you receive and allow it, the other person begins to owe you. And that debt has to be paid at some point in time. So it’s best to make sure there is an equal exchange.
We are on the verge of even more change, because it isn’t just about doing the same things in new ways. You cannot cling to the past, and expect to move forward. Nor accept gifts of the future while you hold to energies of the past.
Free yourself for the beauty that awaits.