She Did This for Me

Are there such things as life debts? In the movie, Brokedown Palace (1999), Claire Danes’ character, Alice Moreno, takes the rap for close friend and soul sister, Darlene Davis, played by Kate Beckinsale, ending up serving a lifelong sentence in a Thai prison. What struck me as potentially interesting, is that there is ambiguity as to whether Moreno was actually guilty. When asked by Darlene whether she “did it,” Moreno responds only that it was “the right thing to do,” her setting Darlene free of a life encumbered by cockroaches and shared prison cells. “Be happy,” she entreats, “I need you to.” There are three possibilities: a random man they met by the poolside smuggled the drugs, Alice did it and owned up, or Darlene did it and Alice took the blame for her.

I tend to think that in the first and third cases, Darlene would have a karmic debt to repay, especially for the way she treated Alice during the course of their incarceration and trial. The Universe sees us all as exactly equal, so the fact that Darlene was sweet and sensitive, while Alice was bold, even wild, would not really count in the way we tend to think. The string of behaviors leading up to the event, however, with Alice daring Darlene to flaunt the rules and then landing them both in trouble, would have played a part. But the most important thing is whether Alice actually did it and why she took the rap for Darlene. If it was because she was, in fact, guilty and had a change of heart or a tug of conscience, we’d be inclined to think it really was the “right thing” and everything would have been square with her admission, maybe even not quite, with everything Darlene had to go through for her friend’s choice.

It’s interesting to consider what the knock-on effects might be in a future life, when the scales are balanced again. You’d never know if Alice and Darlene would be in a sibling rivalry, spousal inequality or another form of relationship that seemed like it was unbalanced, in the context of one life.


These Things I Like

Ever wondered why you have a particular affinity for things and places you’ve never been? It can be fascinating to find strong preferences and opinions about things that should be neutral for all intents and purposes. I knew I had a connection to places, languages and beliefs I have never been, more than my actual experiences, for instance. There was a natural fluidity to the way my tongue skimmed over the vowels and curved to the accent(s) in question. Quite apart from my penchant for languages, this felt natural, like it was “home” to me. I express my deepest sentiments and most vulnerable feelings—as well as my most eloquent phrasings!—in this language and accent. It was, or wasn’t, a surprise to learn that I’d had several past lives in the region, not that I’ve seen them as yet. Sometimes we get bits of our past during moments of deep peace, or spiritual connection, but other times it’s necessary to go to the location itself to unearth memories past. Interestingly, the last time I went, I had yet to be at a stage where such would have become available. Moments of deep trauma or intense feeling can also provoke such memories.

You don’t have to be clairvoyant to see bits of your past, under hypnosis, for instance, but the way and modality in which you sense extra sensory information is unique to you and your abilities. Some people smell a fragrance, others see vividly, while still others know or feel in their gut. Even two clairvoyants don’t “see” the same way, according to their experience and makeup.

This holds true for things we intensely dislike, as well. Often, strong dislikes of things without apparent reason or experience is due to past folly in that position. It’s almost a soul-deep loathing for what you once were and did, even when those experiences were necessary, and chosen, that often gets projected onto the repeating circumstances and people in your life. The situations you can’t run from, as it were. We can get stuck in karmic patterns for lifetimes, even, and this is actually more common than you might know. The way you tend to procrastinate; the grudges you hold; the places you go when upset; the sleight of hand with which deception is delivered. Anything that is a go-to pattern up to the point of addiction that keeps you mired in the exact situations you would extract yourself from, with different action. Patterns run deep, though, and many of us need “help” in making the necessary changes. It can even be traumatic to face up to the why and wherefore of something like that not working.


Turnabout Is Fair Play

There is almost a literal equivalence to being the doer and the done-to in karma across lifetimes. It isn’t always exactly the same, because what’s needed is the opportunity for growth, not punishment, unless a particular experience needs to be had. Nevertheless, it’s quite accurate to say that what you dish, you eventually deal with. Owing to the necessity of being both good and bad through time, it isn’t really a mistake so much as an evolutionary step. That said, the rules are quite literal in that there is no escape from who you were or what you did. We often think that people “get away with it” but that only seems true until they grow enough spiritually to be ready to repay their debts. The rate at which it occurs also has an effect: you can be accumulating karma for future lifetimes or you can be experiencing “instant karma” where things come back to you this lifetime, and quickly. If you’ve ever felt that you can’t get away with anything, this could be one reason why.

It’s a little like a bank account where you deposit savings and pay debts: you can choose to run a tab or you can pay for it now. It is often the almost-unconscious thoughts that run through our heads in the heat of the moment, that point a clue: “She couldn’t care less if I ceased living,” “He would watch me starve by the roadside,” and so on. You’d be surprised how many of these stress-induced rapid-fire quick association neural networks actually have their basis in actual past-life relationships and events. If you killed someone in a past life, there is often the feeling that “they don’t care if I live or die” now that burns to a quick when things get heated. We’ve all been victim and aggressor in times gone by: I’ve seen myself doing things that explain some of my present life situations—it’s usually a reversal of perspective that feels diametrically opposed without being literally identical. By that I mean, the same events don’t necessarily transpire, but the feeling and tone of the relationship and emotions involved, do.

If you are drawn to power-based dynamics, chances are you feel powerless now. If you were once violent and abusive, chances are you feel victimized now. And so on. What seems “cool” in the light of youth often burns asunder in the dark of night. The more people you hurt, the more there is to repay; it’s almost fortunate to not have been good at doing bad things!


Endings and Beginnings

Do we continue as we have been when faced with deep challenges? The scenery outside my window is the way it always has been; and I am surrounded by my favorite things. But I no longer feel that the energy is vibrant or my heart at ease with all that was once enough. Logically, I sought to complete, incrementally, what seemed a series of steps unto my desired result, but spiritually a different set of lessons had been unfolding. And now these were almost complete at my present location. I see now that the immense pressure pushed me into discovering for myself the necessity and beauty of mediumship and space clearing, as well as the importance of familiarizing myself with Earth rules—this last speaks to the nature of giving and receiving in individual karmic accounts as opposed to looking at the situation as a “whole” and seeing who has enough according to your beliefs about what is right. As I pondered the meaning of “the Universe is totally impartial—you reap exactly as you sow,” I began to realize I really was, indeed, from another world, in the soul sense. Because, for me, it was about ensuring equality across the board; saving the ones who seemed to have too little; and challenging those who seemed to have too much, too easily. But in doing so, I forgot my karma, and theirs, in that there is always a reason someone is in a given situation: for their learning and their growth.

It wasn’t until I realized that the ones I had been helping were really not as innocent as their “plight” had made it seem, nor did they have my back in the sense of loyalty I had once expected, and enjoyed, that I began to think about doing things differently. And then, the authority figures I had sought to take down, were really helping me by pushing my buttons—forcing me to confront that which hurt, because what I wanted was on the other side: there are those of us who receive what we need before we notice its absence, and those required to grow towards its gift. I often seek to prevent change, and maintain the status quo in my life, but I see now that there was nothing more I could have done. It usually takes a sizeable push to force me out of my comfort zone, for otherwise I would fix the situation, and stay where I was.

So if you find yourself facing inevitable change, and with it choices, this could be part of the reason.