If You Knew

If you knew how something would end, would you begin? I have always enjoyed good psychological suspense movies especially the ones with prescience or precognition featured as one of the main psychic abilities. But now I realize that in reality every gift comes with a challenge. I used to laugh about the burden of knowing the future, thinking I would just do whatever I wanted, with an extra edge on the competition. But the reality of life is that with so many individual choices, any kind of level or information you have that others don’t becomes something you can’t readily share. At least until they become ready. Patience is key until it is time.

It is often the one who sees first that has to wait.

My answer has changed over the course of the last month, through the process of spiritual decluttering and dissolving cords. When there is too much stuff, new energy cannot enter; so often, when you want something new, it is necessary to first let go of something old.

This is the Law of Flow.

It is not always when you feel emotionally ready, but when it is energetically time.

Everything serves a purpose, sometimes especially things that don’t last.

The only thing you can do is to live in the moment.

Dilemma

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September

As fall begins with the autumn equinox and Mercury direct, do you feel a new cycle beginning both globally and personally? Hard-earned joy and blissful effort brought you to a point of great happiness and relaxation in summer and now those realizations are beginning to slowly, but uncertainly, change into a bountiful harvest meant to provoke personal growth and spiritual transformation amid global change.

It is time for another whirl.

Do you remember feeling last September was an intense time of inner change as your inner ideals where challenged and the rug was pulled out? It forced you to reconsider your outlook on life and purpose in such a deep way as to cause many to stop or abandon nascent projects that suddenly didn’t seem to be serving their original intent. But for those who “got back with the program,” so to speak, it was a needed transformation, and a necessary change whose ramifications lasted the duration of a year, only seeming to bear fruit now.

If you are wondering why sometimes even the simplest things seem beyond reach, it is because in making the right choices, you level up. Heart-inspired action, the whisper of your soul—these things push you to be who you are, and stand in your power. Due to the way we grow, every success is the beginning of a new endeavor; every culmination, a new invitation. These are cycles, like the nautilus in nature, or tree rings.

When the process accelerates, it becomes more important to trust than to understand.

These are lasting lessons that change the stuff you are made of, always for the better. And all previous masks no longer suited to you, fall away. Often the answers we seek require our willingness to look beyond the questions as they are posed; it is interesting that life is as much about acting courageously, as it is letting go of the need to know.

You will often notice that as someone moves from science into spirituality, rationality changes into intuition. This is much to do with scope, and flow, because when we start looking for higher answers, logic is often an insufficient guide. While there are things that can be measured, others defy observation with traditional senses. And often, the right choice is one you feel with your heart and soul—it is the one that cuts through layers of illusion and shows you the truth. It is something imperceptible with the mind.

Whether a perfect soulmate or the right profession, the inner sense we all have shows us a glimpse of heaven’s tapestry. Whether or not the outcome is “desired,” you could say that spiritually everything works out—on a soul level, in future lives etc.—when your intentions are pure. The times it doesn’t seem to work physically are when there are deeper lessons to be learned and something better is waiting just around the corner. What sparkles now, isn’t always what endures forever. But soul lessons are the ones that are chosen and part of beauty is diving timing. And the road to come.

Destiny often works in mysterious ways, in that when something beautiful is taken away seemingly without rhyme or reason, it is only to be given to you in some even better, as yet unfathomable, way. Or there is karma to be cleared. And then it is fair, though you know it not, because ultimately karma is lessons—the kind you can’t see; the kind your soul needs; the kind that transcends lifetimes.

It is about seeing the bigger picture.

How would you learn to forgive if no one had ever wronged you? How would you learn the meaning of love, without loss? Could you be compassionate, without suffering?

Remember it is not the erudite mind’s knowing, but heartfelt feeling that truly contains these qualities.

Every experience refines your soul’s wisdom.

Play

Do you feel as if there’s a mild lull in energy now? Like the impossible struggles have been resolved as you eat ice cream by the sidewalk watching people go by. The Dog Days of summer are a brief respite of leisure before a new term begins. One of those rest periods where you finally get to take in the scenery and smell the roses. And, my, have you looked at how things have changed? The world almost looks different. What was once to be feared and avoided has become a place of safety and comfort; desperate measures thought the only way out were unnecessary as something much better unfolded right before your eyes—there all along, but for the taking. And in the dynamic balance of forward motion and progress, a new smoothness is crafted. After all, you don’t have to hang on, tooth and nail, to the cliff, if you can pull yourself over the top, right?

You see, anything that has the power to sink you, also has the power to make you.

Challenges come to show you your strength. And in their resolution, a layer falls away to be released and new opportunities arrive. All that you deserve, all that you ever wanted. At least until the next cycle. And boy, are they speeding up. How else would you lift the frequency of a planet and its inhabitants?

Every deluge of negativity holds within it the seeds of new positive change.

It is a skill to remain poised and believing through it all, and part of that is learning to love and let go, grow and accept, receive and give, and move and stay true.

You learn your true value when it seems there is no place for you.

And in the ensuing upheaval, as white becomes black and faith turns to doubt, you can find a pinprick of light within darkness. With that, everything can be inverted. Like turning a garment inside out, things can be seen in a new light. All opposites can be resolved. As mindset changes, so too does reality around it.

More immediate karma also means more immediate manifestation.

Now that’s exciting, isn’t it?

Connection

Alone in space, Nagamine Mikako’s mind drifts, when an alien encounter challenges her beliefs about the self, humanity and her closest relationship. Through a combination of telepathy, hallucination and distant memory, she comes face-to-face with her deepest wishes and darkest fears in the form of a projected image that looks just like her.

An alternative look at the doppelgänger scene in the Japanese OVA, Hoshi no Koe (Voices of a Distant Star).

Theme song: Through the Years and Far Away – Ai Miyoko


Distance, 8.6 light-years.

“…Do you really think it would be the same if you go back?” Mikako’s doppelgänger faced her, tranquil and knowing, hands pointed downward over a light green frock.

“There are things I want to experience.” Summer clouds…cold rain…

“…You wouldn’t understand.”

“You chose this. And look how far you’ve finally come.” How far should I go?

“Don’t you want to see what lies beyond?” The visage was childlike and mature at the same time.

“I only want…to see him again.”

“There are many of you here.”

“What makes him special?”

I never thought about it, but I suppose…we have a connection, Noboru-kun and I.

“He’s ordinary.” Nothing like you. This seemed to belie the silver wedding band on her finger, and a dress that spoke of innocence and domesticity.

It doesn’t matter. “It took him almost nine years to accomplish a fraction of what you did in months.”

“How long can a ‘connection’ like that last?” There was such a presence, of deep knowing and being lost in memories.

With Noboru-kun, I always felt…

“From the ground, I saw only the sky. But now up here, I see only the ground. Earth.”

“You can go much further. It’s only a matter of time.”

“I don’t have time!” Mikako shouted, clenching her fists and pumping them downward in rage. He’s already twenty-four.

“Your notion of time is limited.”

“There are many stars, and galaxies. Universes even.” All waiting to be explored.

…at home. “I don’t care!” My wish is simple.

“Top of your class. Best in studies and athletics.” Stronger…than anyone.

“You don’t belong on the ground.” When you dream, it seems everyone reaches for the stars; but when it comes time, only so few find the way.

“I have nothing here.”

You have everything. “Snacks, bus stops—barely had the rain stopped and your eyes sought the clouds.”

The sky; I’ll be onboard that. “I didn’t know the price of choosing to fly.”

“You told him only after you were chosen.” That has to hint at priorities, Select Member.

“I was a child then.”

Mikako’s doppelgänger shook its head. “You’ve killed so many, so…beautifully.”

“And much more awaits. I want to show you.”

“I only want one thing…can’t you give that to me?” Simple pleasures are pretty.

“You cling to him as a lifeline, a remnant of time gone by. Of who you once were.”

“But a lifetime has passed.” You are an exceptional soldier.

“No!” Mikako shouted. “I wouldn’t be here, if—if you hadn’t attacked us on Mars.”

“Were you there?”

“I read the reports.”

Is everything you read true? “You explored the ruins of our base.”

“You were planning an attack on Earth.”

“Do you know if your first survey unit brought weapons?”

“It’s our solar system!”

“‘The solar system really isn’t just for humans.’ You said that, correct?”

I did. “Before I realized the Tarsians were monsters!”

The doppelgänger turned her head slightly and her eyes seemed to twinkle. “If we had left our technology on Mars for you to find, would you have come after us?”

“I don’t…”

“Humans understand so little without bloodshed.”

“Think about it: You didn’t have the technology to leave your galaxy. Why would we bring it all the way to you, with so few troops, just so you could steal it and chase us?”

“Wait…”

“Would we have gone to all that trouble to attack a planet whose inhabitants are already destroying each other?”

“You mean…”

“Yes. An invitation.”

“It was time for you to leave the Milky Way.” And see the wonders of the universe.

Mikako was speechless. “But…you killed us.”

Her doppelgänger was still. “A few lives for the greater good.”

Their eyes met and suddenly Mikako didn’t find her own that friendly anymore. “I said it before: you kill so very well.”

“We’ve had our eye on you for a long time, Mikako.”

“Deadly, but elegant; brutal, but somehow beautiful; single-minded, yet sincere; young, but sure.”

“We wondered, ‘What would it be like to communicate with someone like that?’”

Mikako shivered in disgust. “Your arms wrapped around my Tracer.” Now that I think about it, each time, they reached out as if to grasp something.

Her doppelgänger nodded, and her eyes seemed to sparkle. “You were so fast; I see why you were chosen.” It takes more than reflexes to hold your nerve in battle.

“I am a soldier.”

“The U.N. stands for peace, doesn’t it?”

“My orders are to exterminate on sight.”

“Let me show you something.” The doppelgänger’s features seemed to glow and Mikako felt the area between her eyebrows pulse for a second time.


“He called you Nagamine,” her doppelgänger said tellingly, “until that e-mail.” It’s Mikako!

“How much of this is in your head?”

A special connection, or a simple classmate. “It’s easy to say, ‘I like you,’ or ‘I want to share things with you,’ from far away.”

“Easier to think you’re like ‘lovers separated by space and earth’ than to realize you were different from the start.”

“Talented girl bound for the stars, ordinary boy based on the ground.”

Base temple rising…Long summit.

“Living together everyday, bound by the rules of society and class…Is that what you want?”

Will you meet me halfway, Noboru-kun?

“More importantly, if roles were reversed…would you have waited?”

“Noboru-kun replied to my e-mails,” Mikako said defensively. “He didn’t forget me.”

“Easy to spend five minutes reminiscing because of an unexpected miracle, harder to carry it through reality.”

“He was happy to hear from me!”

“Will those feelings last?”


“If he really wants the same things as you”—Moments in time. Moments to last a lifetime—“then it doesn’t matter how much time passes.”

“And if not, then by the time you return…”

“Have you ever wondered why he didn’t join you in space?”

“Without relativity, there would be no time lag. So, really time isn’t the thief.”

If I could fly faster than the speed of light.

“The speed of light is a cosmic law…It cannot be surpassed. But time is different.”

How can something inanimate…be so cruel?

“Temporally preserved, distally romanticized.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll see him again.” …Child who increases beauty.

“Follow me.”

Straighter than the string of light.

“Step forward.”

“There’s something I want to entrust to you.”

“Why would I want anything of yours.”

“You took the FTL technology. Did you ever wonder…how it works?”

“Time only passes faster on Earth when you turn around. What if by then you had the material to replicate our technology?”

“Exotic matter. Negative mass, specifically.”

“What if those things existed beyond your solar system?”

“You could go anywhere: another galaxy, another universe.”

“Even home.”

That’s what you want, isn’t it?

Connection

All the Way

When I first officially began this journey, I consulted a psychic unlike any I had ever seen up until that point. Sans the usual theatrical fanfare, dark ambience and cloak and hat, this woman was seemingly ordinary. Even the crystal ball didn’t require my touch, in order to “transmit energy.” By this time, I had frequented a few different places in the name of “entertainment” and the thrill of dancing with destiny in the dark of night, while the wind blew, chillingly. Some were free; others were cheap and still more were carnival folk. I didn’t take it seriously, and I didn’t necessarily believe anything that was said, beyond face value.

This time would be different.

For one thing, the woman claimed to work with the angelic realm: divinities and deities supposedly came through during the sessions. My immediate thought was that I could take her, if push came to shove, so I shrugged and agreed to the session.

Little did I know she would become one of my spiritual teachers; someone who pushed me to grow and develop in ways I didn’t even know possible.

I thought I had seen it all by then, and I coldly parsed everything through my logical mind, vaguely dismissing her quiet remark of, “You’ll be back.”

The joke’s on me now.

Among other things, she told me things of varying degrees of specificity that independently transpired over the next year.

The random collection of information all became relevant the further I went from the session. Seemingly casual remarks turned into nuggets of advice I would need later.

The notion of “seeds planted in verdant soil,” didn’t occur to me, at the time.

And when she tried to draw parallels between us, I cackled internally at the ludicrousness.

When she described cycles of growth, soul purpose and a changing world, I dismissed it, thinking all the world was contained within cutting edge physics.

But when the universe took everything from me, I finally decided to pursue a spiritual path.

“That’s how much convincing it took,” she smiled.

“It isn’t going to be easy. You’re just not that kind of person.”

“You’ll lose friends, but you’ll make new ones.”

And every time I thought I had given everything in the latest craze of spiritual development, she would say, “Congratulations. Now the next level.”

“It’s tough love.”

The universe loves us like a parent loves a child.

“Why don’t you tell your story?”

“Many people are going to be going through this, soon.”

I covered my light in as many elaborate lampshades as I could find, dialed down the intensity using one of those specific devices, and generally pretended that if I couldn’t see, then nobody could see me.

“Put your feelings into it.”

But chances are, if you’re here, you could use some of this knowledge.

That’s the way it works.

P.S. I deliberately chose the French version. My Canadian readers may find more significance in this song. Tell me if that’s the case. 😉

Voyage

Seasons

As spring turns to summer, and the energies of the Universe kick into higher gear, time is literally speeding up: where once it would take lifetimes for lessons to be learned and consciousness to shift, now these things happen within a matter of months. If winter was about saying goodbye to the old, and quietly, forlornly, grieving its loss; and spring the against-the-odds struggle to grow in a crack in the pavement, as plants do; then summer is likely the culmination of effort and more rapid success amid aggressive heat and more active conditions. But growing into yourself does not come without challenges, and as you find out who you are and what you stand for, in these evolving times, there will be those who disagree.

Change is never comfortable.

It also represents the release of karma usually in the form of unwarranted aggression, unexpected strife and blatant disagreement. There often comes a point, in any soulmate relationship, where the initial fondness and natural attraction gives way to deep hurt and old resentment. And while it is ultimately a gift to be able to work these deeper lessons out in the form of release, facing many at once can feel like whirling with the wind, a diamond under pressure. It brings forth the difference between the surface appearance of reality and deep truth, changing you in the process.

Higher levels mean seeing more.

There is also a greater responsibility involved in dispensing knowledge, choosing action and intending thought—what once passed for acceptable no longer does, because you know better. And while I have seen many a character struggle with morality on TV—most recently on Person of Interest, one of my favorite shows—in reality there is really only one path: becoming your best self.

The end goal is lofty, and in being granted the opportunity to fly through the levels, you see the subtle shifts in the nature of events. I found it interesting timing, that both in winter and in spring, the end of the season brought its final challenges, sort of culminating in a test to pass, so characteristic of the season. Did you lose something dear in February? Were you faced with an insurmountable obstacle in May? In facing these challenges, did you learn more about yourself and the world around you? Perhaps you didn’t realize until it became clear how far you’d come, through busyness and in haste. Summer brings with it the promise of new beginnings, hard-earned, and thoroughly deserved—time in the sun, so to speak. As you cherish that which is new and appropriate, remember that the hottest days come at the end of the season.

Be prepared to defend what you believe in.

But overall, this is success.

Smile when the sun shines on your face. You deserve it.

Summer

Redolence

Walking through a mirrored maze of eternal sight, hands trembling, hurricane twirling, the eye of which in constant motion, casts aspersions toward infinity.
If but on a journey wild, thrice choose thine earnest heart through shadows cast upon the light.
My truth in your hand, trembles; control not the honest urge to be true.
In timeless beauty, a rainbow etched, upon the sky doth sketch beautiful, wild traces of your heart.
A moment and forever, eternity and now, live, ever, ever.
Through wild outreaches of flowing river, weave a tale of endless wonder.
Heart, soul and forever.
Twice thwarted; thrice stand, upon the beautiful foundation of your everlasting glory. Words I didn’t know within, drawn from a hand without.
Metric ever, and flowers blooming, grow for me a tree of straight and curly.
Stifled no longer, be the balance in-between void of light and wonder.
As ever, live this moment as if were last, but know forever.
Lines and stanzas, mere extensions of divine allegory in your beating heart.
Pen, your honest symphony.

~Fin