All the Way

When I first officially began this journey, I consulted a psychic unlike any I had ever seen up until that point. Sans the usual theatrical fanfare, dark ambience and cloak and hat, this woman was seemingly ordinary. Even the crystal ball didn’t require my touch, in order to “transmit energy.” By this time, I had frequented a few different places in the name of “entertainment” and the thrill of dancing with destiny in the dark of night, while the wind blew, chillingly. Some were free; others were cheap and still more were carnival folk. I didn’t take it seriously, and I didn’t necessarily believe anything that was said, beyond face value.

This time would be different.

For one thing, the woman claimed to work with the angelic realm: divinities and deities supposedly came through during the sessions. My immediate thought was that I could take her, if push came to shove, so I shrugged and agreed to the session.

Little did I know she would become one of my spiritual teachers; someone who pushed me to grow and develop in ways I didn’t even know possible.

I thought I had seen it all by then, and I coldly parsed everything through my logical mind, vaguely dismissing her quiet remark of, “You’ll be back.”

The joke’s on me now.

Among other things, she told me things of varying degrees of specificity that independently transpired over the next year.

The random collection of information all became relevant the further I went from the session. Seemingly casual remarks turned into nuggets of advice I would need later.

The notion of “seeds planted in verdant soil,” didn’t occur to me, at the time.

And when she tried to draw parallels between us, I cackled internally at the ludicrousness.

When she described cycles of growth, soul purpose and a changing world, I dismissed it, thinking all the world was contained within cutting edge physics.

But when the universe took everything from me, I finally decided to pursue a spiritual path.

“That’s how much convincing it took,” she smiled.

“It isn’t going to be easy. You’re just not that kind of person.”

“You’ll lose friends, but you’ll make new ones.”

And every time I thought I had given everything in the latest craze of spiritual development, she would say, “Congratulations. Now the next level.”

“It’s tough love.”

The universe loves us like a parent loves a child.

“Why don’t you tell your story?”

“Many people are going to be going through this, soon.”

I covered my light in as many elaborate lampshades as I could find, dialed down the intensity using one of those specific devices, and generally pretended that if I couldn’t see, then nobody could see me.

“Put your feelings into it.”

But chances are, if you’re here, you could use some of this knowledge.

That’s the way it works.

P.S. I deliberately chose the French version. My Canadian readers may find more significance in this song. Tell me if that’s the case. 😉

Voyage

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Seasons

As spring turns to summer, and the energies of the Universe kick into higher gear, time is literally speeding up: where once it would take lifetimes for lessons to be learned and consciousness to shift, now these things happen within a matter of months. If winter was about saying goodbye to the old, and quietly, forlornly, grieving its loss; and spring the against-the-odds struggle to grow in a crack in the pavement, as plants do; then summer is likely the culmination of effort and more rapid success amid aggressive heat and more active conditions. But growing into yourself does not come without challenges, and as you find out who you are and what you stand for, in these evolving times, there will be those who disagree.

Change is never comfortable.

It also represents the release of karma usually in the form of unwarranted aggression, unexpected strife and blatant disagreement. There often comes a point, in any soulmate relationship, where the initial fondness and natural attraction gives way to deep hurt and old resentment. And while it is ultimately a gift to be able to work these deeper lessons out in the form of release, facing many at once can feel like whirling with the wind, a diamond under pressure. It brings forth the difference between the surface appearance of reality and deep truth, changing you in the process.

Higher levels mean seeing more.

There is also a greater responsibility involved in dispensing knowledge, choosing action and intending thought—what once passed for acceptable no longer does, because you know better. And while I have seen many a character struggle with morality on TV—most recently on Person of Interest, one of my favorite shows—in reality there is really only one path: becoming your best self.

The end goal is lofty, and in being granted the opportunity to fly through the levels, you see the subtle shifts in the nature of events. I found it interesting timing, that both in winter and in spring, the end of the season brought its final challenges, sort of culminating in a test to pass, so characteristic of the season. Did you lose something dear in February? Were you faced with an insurmountable obstacle in May? In facing these challenges, did you learn more about yourself and the world around you? Perhaps you didn’t realize until it became clear how far you’d come, through busyness and in haste. Summer brings with it the promise of new beginnings, hard-earned, and thoroughly deserved—time in the sun, so to speak. As you cherish that which is new and appropriate, remember that the hottest days come at the end of the season.

Be prepared to defend what you believe in.

But overall, this is success.

Smile when the sun shines on your face. You deserve it.

Summer

Redolence

Walking through a mirrored maze of eternal sight, hands trembling, hurricane twirling, the eye of which in constant motion, casts aspersions toward infinity.
If but on a journey wild, thrice choose thine earnest heart through shadows cast upon the light.
My truth in your hand, trembles; control not the honest urge to be true.
In timeless beauty, a rainbow etched, upon the sky doth sketch beautiful, wild traces of your heart.
A moment and forever, eternity and now, live, ever, ever.
Through wild outreaches of flowing river, weave a tale of endless wonder.
Heart, soul and forever.
Twice thwarted; thrice stand, upon the beautiful foundation of your everlasting glory. Words I didn’t know within, drawn from a hand without.
Metric ever, and flowers blooming, grow for me a tree of straight and curly.
Stifled no longer, be the balance in-between void of light and wonder.
As ever, live this moment as if were last, but know forever.
Lines and stanzas, mere extensions of divine allegory in your beating heart.
Pen, your honest symphony.

~Fin

INFJ

In the Kiersey temperament scale, the INFJ (Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging) is known as The Counselor. The rarest type, INFJs are a marriage of seeming contradictions, oft misunderstood, with a depth beyond surface comprehension. Sometimes mistaken for the INFP, who is also an NF or idealist, and shares some similarities, the two types actually share no cognitive functions. While four-letter classification is the most prominent categorization in MBTI, some say it is the cognitive stack or hierarchy of functions that actually determines functioning. So, just in case you aren’t familiar, let’s get to it:

Dominant (main) function: Introverted intuition (Ni)
Auxiliary: Extraverted feeling (Fe)
Tertiary: Introverted thinking (Ti)
Inferior: Extraverted sensing (Se).

This is an interesting functional stack: You will notice that both functions pertaining to information and facts point inward, while both governing action and the real world point outward, which creates an interesting dichotomy. While on one hand, the INFJ can be drawn to mystical realms and deeper meaning; higher humanitarian ideals and helping others, there is also a precise thinking mechanism that sorts through data and stimuli rigorously. Ideas are rarely shared in the thinking process and sometimes the person can retreat inward while contemplating complex ideas and possibilities; they would seem focused, but perhaps inattentive, during this. There is also a tendency to overanalyze, courtesy of the Ni–Ti loop. Unlike the INTJ, whose conclusions are used to construct better systems, machines and structure, however, the INFJs main thrust is toward humankind, morality and compassion. Thus, the product of inner focus is different.

By contrast, the extraverted functions of Fe and Se make the subject expressive and action-oriented, though maybe not in the most typical sense. You will typically see extraverted feelers smile with their whole face, engage you in meaningful eye contact and otherwise respond to emotional stimuli; there is a passion and a fire to their deep intellect and overarching wisdom. This also creates the desire to occasionally be the life of the party and interact meaningfully with many people, before retreating into a quiet world of almost seclusion. You see, despite their desire to socialize, INFJs possess an almost psychic sensitivity to the moods of those around them and after prolonged periods, they need to retreat and recharge. Sensory extraversion, too, means a desire to act out certain things and to sometimes use motion to organize the environment. With Fe and Se, there can also be a bubble of uncertainty regarding the self, and immediate feelings and sensations; at times, INFJs look to the external world, usually in the form of a trusted friend or advisor, to help them sort their mental or emotional state—a sounding board, of sorts. And without this, they can become a little unhinged.

All that possibility within, all those complex feelings, with no outlet.

Another close cousin, or perhaps counterpart, to the INFJ is the ENFP, who possesses the same order of functions, but with directionality reversed. For this reason, while INFJs are usually the most extroverted of introverts, ENFPs are the most introverted extroverts. You will perhaps find an interesting synergy between these two types, as, while one possesses an almost infinite depth, the other has stores of positivity, and both have a deep regard for humanity.

Finally, it is interesting to note, that while discrete type indicators such as Myers-Briggs are not as often used in mainstream academic psychology—where the focus is a little more on continuous qualities like the five factor model administered via the NEO PI-R, and the study of personality shares an overlap with clinical populations vis-à-vis the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory)—they are sometimes more indicative of personality in everyday life and career counseling.

If you’re an INFJ, do you relate to this?

Interlude Beneath the Starry Sky

Is there a fourth wall in blogging? Is tightly cogent, somewhat private, grammatically perfect writing best? Should you keep everything neat and tidy?

Probably not, during these changing times.

As you can probably tell by the longer title, this post is slightly different. In my Blogging 101 travels, I had the fortune of stopping by along the side of the road, where I encountered Marianne. Her posts bring out the loopy in me, and in the ensuing discussions, everyone’s head spins a bit. It’s fun. You just might like her everyday wisdom and humor, too.

When the ball lands in your court…hit it back!

Shadow

Ever come face-to-face with your shadow side?

In psychological terms, the shadow side refers to repressed feelings, inhibited desires and unacknowledged traits and yearning. Basically, the “undesired” stuff. Letting it loose in public was thought to have negative consequences, and Jekyll and Hyde is an example in extremis, of what you can do when the lights are out. Precise becomes emotional, kindness becomes cruelty and innocence turns into naïveté. We’re all aware of these things, but usually they stay nicely hidden beneath the radar. Until events like an eclipse, or what have you. Like the tidal forces the moon brings to bear on waves of the ocean, celestial events can pull deep-seated tendencies to the surface.

What’s the connection? The thing is, while psychology deals with the deepest reaches of the mind, the scope of spirituality is much vaster: things from different lifetimes and dimensions can meet in an intersection point. I didn’t pay particular attention, while wading through a living nightmare of worst fears and darkest thoughts, of the timing. On both occasions, the goddess Hecate, said to be a primordial being of light and dark, offered me a chance to meet her. I declined, thinking of the practical constraints: “Too much is going on,” “How do I know it’s relevant?” “Surely not now,” and so on. After all, one symptom can have potentially many causes and sometimes things change as you evolve; frustration can mean karmic release, or it can be everyday things, for instance. You slowly learn to identify the innate tendencies and visceral feelings associated with internal events; it’s a bit like prying interweaved strands apart. I watched, also, as many people were brought into direct contact with their worst side, thinking it wasn’t all that unusual for the intense energy.

But now I realize this was a call to connect.

The purpose? Left unexamined, the shadow side is a dormant thing, safe but unutilized, and certainly not understood. Left unchecked, it is possibly a destructive force. But, properly integrated, it is a powerful tool that can help to overcome obstacles. Another thing is once you are awakened, things happen anyway. Whether you choose to take the hands offered to you—though they won’t clear the way—or go it alone, doesn’t change the fact. A bit like the chicken and the egg, but in reverse. I used to think that connecting with these deities, although genuine, was what was causing the events, but instead, there is a “hardware cost” to delaying things in the interest of prudence or awaiting a better time. It does not always mean the situation will be more favorable next time around, and you will have to wait in the interim. Sometimes counterintuitiveness is just the nature of the event.

So next time everything is up in the air, it feels totally wrong and worse than the last? I’ll know it’s Hecate. And on the third strike, I’ll probably find the courage. After all, that’s a pattern, right?

Planets

Do you ever look at the sky?

Now is an interesting time to do so, as, as I recently discovered, Saturn is in Sagittarius. The joys of this position include juxtaposition of freedom and limitation, meant to bring eventual clarity and longevity to the endeavors that mean most to you. It’s also a cosmic coming-of-age if you’re going through the Saturn Return, which occurs approximately every 27–29 years when Saturn returns to the sign it was in when you were born. This intensifies the experience, I would think, as you’re forced to look long and hard at what you really want, and if it is practical in everyday reality. Like the parent that holds an eager child back from running headlong into needless danger; society that restricts outspoken attitudes of anarchy; and karma that turns the wheel of fate in fairness, Saturn forces the free-spirited archer to aim precisely. An arrow is not an explosive, so accuracy is required for success. In this way, efficiency and minimal collateral damage are achieved. Or so goes the theory, anyway.

The exact house Saturn is in on your birth chart determines the arena of your life caught up in this seemingly opposing tug-of-war: in one sense, the area most important to you, which could end up being the foundation of a new or existing career, is also a place of frustration and sometimes confusion about the true nature of things, and reasons. The sky can be the limit, but getting there is the hard part. Interestingly, this dovetails nicely with the energies of ascension this year, where change and transformation seem inevitable. So much is being released everywhere, and consciousness is evolving at an unprecedented rate; it’s funny that when we say that this is an “exciting time to be alive,” we often overlook how challenging the actual process can be.

The other interesting thing is that we are in the midst, or soon to be, of a multi-planet retrograde. This means, among other things, a reversal of the usual energy of each planet; so if Mars represents action, then now might be a sluggish time. Put together, there is a synergistic effect: if you’re feeling limited, restricted and sluggish? Hmm, sort of brings out all the base emotions you might not usually express. Funnily though, natural instinct and obvious solution may not be the best moves at present. It may be you who is out of line. Isn’t that a hard one to swallow? Only it isn’t just you.

So, don’t draw your weapon just yet; keep that bridge intact—you might use it later; for now, hold off on the things that seem to need doing right away. Remember that fog begets clarity eventually.