Changing

I never expected, on the verge of an age milestone, that I would be also entering the initial stages of spiritual mastery. Where you see through time to discover the causes of fear, and ask before you act. More and more, it was no longer right for me to hold on to things and people that once served me, for fear that nothing new was on the horizon. I didn’t realize how much of my life was governed by this maxim, until the humor of the goddess of compassion, Kwan Yin, whose name in full Chinese script means “observing the cries of the world.” It was hilarious to learn that if I simply said, “there are new things” then a lot of my fears dropped away: I would no longer need to save appliances, preserve relationships and cling to beliefs that were no longer serving me.

You only change when it causes more suffering to stay the same.

This is often why we are forced out of a comfort zone.

In two short years, I had moved from everyday seeker to spiritual practitioner, but for the love that makes you grow. There is such a difference between love that keeps us small, clinging to our fears and insecurities, and the person that waits a higher level distance away, never too far, but forcing us to grow and be the best we can. Ostensibly under desperation, I learned the skills I never would have dared open, for that was the motivation I needed to open the door. And it was to my surprise to learn that space clearing is practical, and mediumship, beautiful.

Much more, that the Greek and Roman goddesses I had studied in classical literature were perhaps going to be coming through in the near future.

Brought to the depths of my own patterns, I saw that often what we dislike in the outer world is a reflection of the things we don’t like about ourselves. This applies across time, for the beliefs you hold today are the consequences of actions taken in past lifetimes. For instance, I had a fear of contamination that I never really understood. It was a specific kind. It was only when I saw myself burying people in dirt that I realized the exact sensations I didn’t like, were the ones I had probably inflicted.

When you see the worst of you, you also begin to see the best in you. As I saw the old-fashioned soldier brandishing a sword, I also saw the priestess holding a wand. The masculine energy of my past, and the Divine feminine energy, possibly of my future.

I had been bending the rules to ensure an outcome, trying to save the world without realizing that what had been meted out was fair. That I couldn’t keep helping the way I had been, because of the rules of karma. When you give more than you receive and allow it, the other person begins to owe you. And that debt has to be paid at some point in time. So it’s best to make sure there is an equal exchange.

We are on the verge of even more change, because it isn’t just about doing the same things in new ways. You cannot cling to the past, and expect to move forward. Nor accept gifts of the future while you hold to energies of the past.

Free yourself for the beauty that awaits.

September

As fall begins with the autumn equinox and Mercury direct, do you feel a new cycle beginning both globally and personally? Hard-earned joy and blissful effort brought you to a point of great happiness and relaxation in summer and now those realizations are beginning to slowly, but uncertainly, change into a bountiful harvest meant to provoke personal growth and spiritual transformation amid global change.

It is time for another whirl.

Do you remember feeling last September was an intense time of inner change as your inner ideals where challenged and the rug was pulled out? It forced you to reconsider your outlook on life and purpose in such a deep way as to cause many to stop or abandon nascent projects that suddenly didn’t seem to be serving their original intent. But for those who “got back with the program,” so to speak, it was a needed transformation, and a necessary change whose ramifications lasted the duration of a year, only seeming to bear fruit now.

If you are wondering why sometimes even the simplest things seem beyond reach, it is because in making the right choices, you level up. Heart-inspired action, the whisper of your soul—these things push you to be who you are, and stand in your power. Due to the way we grow, every success is the beginning of a new endeavor; every culmination, a new invitation. These are cycles, like the nautilus in nature, or tree rings.

When the process accelerates, it becomes more important to trust than to understand.

These are lasting lessons that change the stuff you are made of, always for the better. And all previous masks no longer suited to you, fall away. Often the answers we seek require our willingness to look beyond the questions as they are posed; it is interesting that life is as much about acting courageously, as it is letting go of the need to know.

You will often notice that as someone moves from science into spirituality, rationality changes into intuition. This is much to do with scope, and flow, because when we start looking for higher answers, logic is often an insufficient guide. While there are things that can be measured, others defy observation with traditional senses. And often, the right choice is one you feel with your heart and soul—it is the one that cuts through layers of illusion and shows you the truth. It is something imperceptible with the mind.

Whether a perfect soulmate or the right profession, the inner sense we all have shows us a glimpse of heaven’s tapestry. Whether or not the outcome is “desired,” you could say that spiritually everything works out—on a soul level, in future lives etc.—when your intentions are pure. The times it doesn’t seem to work physically are when there are deeper lessons to be learned and something better is waiting just around the corner. What sparkles now, isn’t always what endures forever. But soul lessons are the ones that are chosen and part of beauty is diving timing. And the road to come.

Destiny often works in mysterious ways, in that when something beautiful is taken away seemingly without rhyme or reason, it is only to be given to you in some even better, as yet unfathomable, way. Or there is karma to be cleared. And then it is fair, though you know it not, because ultimately karma is lessons—the kind you can’t see; the kind your soul needs; the kind that transcends lifetimes.

It is about seeing the bigger picture.

How would you learn to forgive if no one had ever wronged you? How would you learn the meaning of love, without loss? Could you be compassionate, without suffering?

Remember it is not the erudite mind’s knowing, but heartfelt feeling that truly contains these qualities.

Every experience refines your soul’s wisdom.